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January 12 some thing about me..am i a narcissism? I not sure... Some time i know i will be have self-absorption.. but i think it just a form of defense mechanism that build up by my conscious part of me due to many thing can be threatening me in some way.. some time im aware that i seek for attention. Some time i have low-self esteem. Some time i having the emptiness and deadness feelings. sometime i search for 'self object' to fulfill my needs. But it is never enough for me, maybe it is not stay for a long time. Im keep searching and searching ... there are many that not suitable in some way...So still haven't found a 'self object' yet... maybe it cant be categories in 'self object'... coz it is more than the characteristic of a 'self object'. I also aware that i easily involve in transference or counter transference sometime. It is an automatic process that cause by my sink-ed part of a ice cube. It trigger by my past experience which is repressed in my mind. I notice that when i emotionally weak period, I can be having a regression process that i not aware of. Just when my friend that inform me that i just like a child. Then i only awaken by my fren that i going through this process. I not a kind that have splitting characteristic person. I will try to think what is the middle part of the story. Maybe there are some automatic thought that told me not to just thinkbipolaric pattern in my life. I know that i have many biases in my mind that is not good for some one in some way... But im still in the way that digging up the under-water-part of me. So I can be more understand of wat actually happen in me. I kind of greedy to wish solve this fast. Because my current situation is not appropriate for develop a full actualization. I having an impoverish solution for my inner void now. I understand that ideally we need to balance up the taking care of my self and actively caring for others. But i will feel that i neglecting my own needs in state of focus needs of others.... So that my defensemechanism start to become active and being a self-centered person. I aware of wat i actually wan and i sole of afraid of it. I think this is a phobia that create by my previous intimate relation merge with my traditional cultural family context..... December 27 it hurt me when i open it...some thing is bothering me right now...i kind of have a cue to lead my self to aware about it...but my another part of me told me that it will hurt me if i make it aware...i know wat is it... ya...its real hurt me a lot... just like put some salt to a open wound... >.< I
waiting someone sms...but my hp never sing a song to me... every time
it sing song... i have a hope, it was not it... every time it will
bring disappointment to me. Y? tell me y?...I know some time things
cant make it suddenly pop out if it never exist at the first place...
what should i do? my frens told me that go far far away from it...
ignore it ....let time turn it lesser...there are always have other
possibilities....let ur self see more far than this... October 20 feelings~~分手了请不要跟我 说对不起，因为...... 给搞不懂喜 欢与爱的人------喜欢一个人,你要的只是今天----爱一个人,你期望的是永 远----- 喜欢一个人,是看到了他的 优点----- 爱一个人,是包容了他的缺点----- 当你站在你 爱的人面前,你的心跳会加速----- 但当你站在你喜 欢的人面前,你只感到开心 喜欢,是一种心情--- 爱,是一种感情---喜欢,是一种直觉---爱,是一种感觉--- 喜欢,可以停止---爱,没有休止--- 喜欢一个人,特别自然---爱一个人,特别坦然--- 喜欢一个人,不停的和他争 执--- 爱一个人,不停的为他付出---喜欢一个人,总是为他而笑---爱一个人,总是为他而哭--- 喜欢,是执着--- 爱,是值得--- 喜欢就是喜欢,很简单--- 爱就是爱,很复杂--- 喜欢你,却不一定爱你爱你，就一定喜欢你--- 其实,喜欢和爱仅一步之遥 愛上一个人..........如此的甜蜜卻又讓人受傷害---放棄一个人..........如此的難過卻又讓人心碎--- 珍惜身旁的每一个人,不要等到失去了--- 才瞭解到遺憾.和後悔是如此的痛苦....---→因為愛你.所以放手還你自由←---→因為愛你.所以不再讓你困擾←---→因為愛你.所以寧願自己難 過←---→因為愛你.所以我逼自己離開←--- 珍惜友誼--- 在繽紛的塵宇中 --- 你我相識 --- 不管是一次偶然的相逢 --- ----或是成為永遠的知已 ---- 我都一樣珍惜 ---如果我還一直深愛著你...你是否還會待在我身邊?--- 如果我還一直在乎著你...你是否會再多看我一眼?--- 是否我已不存在了...你才感覺的到我的離開?---是否我已離開了....你才感覺的到我對你的好?--- 最真摯滴愛情不需要承諾---注定緣份滴情人不需要約定---- 只要真心真意滴對待眼前滴你---- 只願陪伴著你直到你不愛你‧‧‧‧‧ 你知道痛楚的感 觉吗？ 有一个男人，从来不知道痛楚的感 觉，直至他 爱上一个女人。从前的他，常常被女孩子包 围着，向他大献殷勤，他从来不需要追求女孩子。他最<br /> 担心的，不是别人不爱他，而是别人太爱他。 有一个女孩子，深深地 爱着他，为他放弃了自己的事 业。同居三年，她发觉他从未 爱过她，他只是不讨厌她而已。 分手那一天，她含泪按着自己的胸口 问他： “你知道我这里有多痛 吗？” 他觉得内疚，可是他却不知道她有多痛。 直至有一天，他爱上一个女人，那个女人却不能 爱他，他才明白心痛的滋味。长夜漫漫，思念一个人，原来是那 么痛的。 每当她在他面前出现，他却不可以碰她。他的喜怒哀 乐仿佛全由她一手控制。得不到一个人，原来是那么痛的。她流一滴眼泪，他就愿意 为她赴汤蹈火。可是，他知道，怀抱她的，是另外一个男。他在夜里独自饮泣。原来，爱一个人，是有痛楚的。 他终于明白，从前那个深深地 爱着他的女人，按着胸口所说的那种痛楚，到底有多 痛，到底有多痛。 September 23 dream story....part 3i dream about the dream that similar to what i dream long ago. But this time is in different position and different feeling the girl have another person near to her...which they chat and begin very close. I suddenly aware that I'm in realistic world which i feel that no one will stick to one person forever. Then we both fall to sleep. when i open my eyes , i feel I'm the happiest man in the world. because i saw her sleeping beside me. I keep sleeping and refuse to get up because i don't want the bahagia feeling ends there. but i realized that happy moment never last forever. we need to move on. move to another destination. in this dream, I'm a blur man... but when i dream it, im aware what actually happen there. the girl and that man start to chatting..I feel the man can able give her the actual happiness and i know it is the best to her... I not ready to have her, I cant stay with her because i will not able make her happy at the way he able make her feel. I love her. I have a strong feeling to her..but I not sure is this same for her now.
The time pass very fast, The sky there begin turn yellow-orange. We still on the way to go someway. But not sure where is it. Not long later, the leader shout:"we will take a night here" I'm and the girl resting in a bus, The man appeal again, he offer a drink to her. That moment i only know that her name is called "Ah Chin" this is what he called her la. this is very weird and funny that i and her together for so long, but i never know what her name is. she begin to care me lessen and lessen but to him better and better. That time, I want to sing a song which automatic come in my head..chi xin jue dui.. I have a terrible feeling, hurt..want to keep her, but not able to do so, feeling of losing her. when they sit together and chatting closely, I don't dare to see that situation, its make me feel weak. I choose to take a walk to avoid to see it more. the weather is full with haze, cant see any thing in front neither my back even have orange lights. I found a place to sit down, Then i heard some one calling my name following by gun shooting, then a lots of zombies walking toward me. i quickly run back to base....maybe too exited..I'm wake up from the dream :p I remember my 'brother' told me that:" If u want or u wish someone stay with u, chat with u, and do some thing that u wish another person 'stay' with u. it is because ur sense of 'ownership' from that person is strong. u wish to own that person every thing. thats why when that person take by others or dint do what u expected to do, you will be very....sad" I agree it... And i think if I love her, I dint must own her, as long as she happy, I willing to let her go if she want to go,as long as she happy and it is the best thing for her. January 30 My new girl friend...dream but real for me The dream start from a setting which a zombie world, a big factory, outside the factory have a space like field, back yard.. surround the factory with old ion fence. There is a gang of surviver that ran to this factory,I am one of the surviver. I killed a zombie that hard to shot down, just like a video game..Right after I kick its ass, The leader of the group getter us to distributing the weapons such as guns, shotguns , rifles, and weigh things happen...the leader also give us 2 screwdriver- one big, one small to do some missions but not sure what is use for.  After the distribution, I went to a table with chair and a have a rest. At that peace moment, a girl from a few table away come and ask me: "How are you? U Know me anot?" then I shook my head. Then very surprisingly she ask me : "Do u like short hair?" In deep of my heart think-OMG how she know it???and nod my with joy...hahaha..then I accept her and touch her head so same as she...as friend feeling. Suddenly, a surprise attack from the zombie. most of the guns ran out of bullets when fighting with the zombies... She accidentally fall down when a zombie go to her direction. I rush to there a shot the zombie on the head. BANG!!! the HEAD exploded!!! But dont know why the next after that is blur....maybe I was injured. Every thing is totally blur, something is missing...i not sure how is my life that time.. But when I became aware, I saw her agian!! She love me, take care me very gentlely, giving me food (something like rice but not sure what is that)  and a cup of drink (i think is hot de) That feeling is just like she do a lot of effort to take care me and feed me. A very nice feeling very in touch!!!Suddenly I heard the leader getter all of us again. I put down my food and the cup at a small pondok ( It look like a place to sleep and like spaceship to me) The next thing I know is the leader told me that I the slowest one and just like mentally distorted, just know eat ,sleep......... The girl try to stop her(the leader) to humiliate me.That time I not sure what is going on but I did know it has gone though days , months, or even years before I become aware. A lot of things happen when I in blur period. What I know is she real care about me. I feel very in-touch, the next thing I want to do is I ate the food with the fastest time i could and take care of her, and love her. I am in love with her... THEN my real life hand phone rang!!! OMG my dream disappear !!! AHHHHHH!!! MY DREAM!!! MY LOVE ONE!!! Who is the bastard that wake me up!!!  ... MY girlfriend ...hope to see her agian... Even that time I know she just tie up her hair to become short...Coz i touched the head and touched the 'thing' that tie the hair up...p/s: what I know the hair isnt important, what important is how she love me...although I just like a mentally distorted person. January 10 friendship storyOnce upon of time, there are two men ( Ali and Baba) walking together in desert. They are best friend. Then things bigan heat up when they meet a conflict / arguement. Suddenlly the matter meet a critical stage when Ali punch Baba on the right face. Then Baba gets very angry and take out his sword that his carry at his back and pointing to his best friend- Ali. Baba shout to Ali and say : " It is too much with that action!!!... I will write this incident on this desert land to remember u gave me this bruise on my right face!!" -xx/xx/2008 Ali hurt Baba with a punch on the right face- the sentence on the land of sand. They still continue their trip but with silence mode.
Not long later, They walk on a 'soft/sinking sand' without aware about it. Then they start to sink. But luckily Baba able to escape from it. Baba grab a rope to put Ali up. Then Ali feel very greatful what Baba did. He take a big stone and curve -xx/xx/2008 Baba safe Ali's life from sinking sand- on it with his knife. They still continue their journey but as best friend.
**We always have conflicts in any relationship. Sometime someone may hurt you unconciousness or may not tends to do so. But sometime we being too serious about it.
We should not remember it and try to forget about it. Just like writing some thing on a sand land which a blow of wind will cover it easily. But when some one helped you,then must remember about it deep inside your heart. Just like curving things on a stone.** **It will help you decrease your hate toward anything**
**It will cause you make less enermy and make more friends in your life.So will live happier**
** Friendship forever** December 07 secret behide the wallNowadays I being abit busy coz I start to work for the whole month for extra money. Don't know why whereter is my body cant support the stress or wat my heart(left hand side) start to have deep pain. Then my left chest appear some red spot. I though that was just skin problem. But then the pain being very aggressively .....until I cant talk and be nearly unconscious, the pain is just like an arrow pass though my heart... Then I told my parents about. They just said "oh... it's ok de" I feel very similar with adi. because I felt this a few years b4. But When this situation is on my litter bro. My mother said tmr I take u to c doctor....I just feel a bit jealous about it...but for me ...the last child is need more attention. So I dint said any thing about it . But the pain become worst and the red spot because longer. I go to see doctor with my big bro at Segambut . But the thing that make me very sad is when I told my parents about it ...they scold me....they said why u dint go for Jinjang doctor...He is better..go there see ma....aiyo...others doctor is just wasting money.... At that time is today early morning b4 go to work and school....and I segera go to prepare my things ...That time I'm speechless and my tears drop down from my small eyes while I still preparing to work.... Some more the fees for the doctor was paid by myself!!! how can they said waste money??? they don't even border to bring me see a doctor....Then because of that I go by my own lo...but then they scold me for that.... ;( But I want to remain being a strong guy which dint cry.... that is why i still tough enough to survive .... The red spot is very yeng one.... just like a dragon on my chest to my back....or can be said like a fire tattoo......It name is called "san sez" ...... while at the work and school I try to be happy...but I was brake down when the pain come again and remind me about my parents..... As a student who learn a lot of theories of counseling and psychology....surprisingly I cant overcome it......I also cant find any possible reasons for my parents to dispute it (the sadness)... In my mind is just have "am i their son?" "they dont love me any more?"..... the best I can think is "I am the one who is independent and mature enough to take my self in 5sons of their... so no need too manja"..... BUT...I still a normal human which have feeling and...their son. I also need love from them...care from them... then later night ,my mother give me a lot of money...but I dint feel any thing about it...But My eyes full with tear again when she serve me a plate of rice and ask me to eat......since a long time she dint do that....some more she give me her vegetable.... Thank you mom...... November 03 some sound from my heart....Love is a keperluan for a normal person......but for me ....i think i got a phobia for loving some one...i cant..i dont dare to have any relationship agian for now.....
is there must be a couple then only can close together or talk? i think the answer is no..but i just scare of suddenlly love some one and cant control my self...
so then safest way to control my self is keep a distance.... i still study so i cant work full time.....then my familly isnt a gold hill familly....even evertime my familly talk about money..... my dad start to smoke....my mom start to yell.....but i never bleme them ..coz cari makan memang susah....
sometime i saw some one use money like not a matter to that person, i got a feeling to scole,punch, kick,kill that ppl.they dont even concern how hard the money earn by thier parents.but this is their problem,i cant change them ....maybe bcoz they are son of a rich familly leh!!!
without a good income, i even cant support my college fees. the stupid ptptn process very very veryx10000000 SLOW!!!!
until now still heven upload my acc....
i only can see ,think and lepas for a "couple relationship".i cant have it...cant even do any action. if she know a....then i die lo.....haiz....
but it is very sux that keep think about her but cant let her know.....even sometime dream about her....
i dont know why this happen to me ..... maybe the answer is ...i also a human...
maybe a multiple target technique can help me in this situation......i use it b4 ...hope this time can work oso la.....
not that i dont want to step another step for" she and i "relationship.... but i wish i can.
so........study study study !!!! and get a job to support every thing that i cant support now........then only get a life partner...hehe..that is my plan for now.
 October 09 my first semester break .....1oct -4oct......i join a camp name LTC( leadership training camp) It was organized by tarc FAU ( first aid unit ) b4 I go this camp....i was very blur about it... they having briefing meeting 3 times....but i only attended once..hehe  I thought this camp can make me feel "holiday" while i still in recovery condition. But i get scolded by the camp commander bcoz i dint attended enough meeting....kakaka...but i make him speak less hehehe  The first day b4 bertolak to melaka ayan kelor , some one dint wear long pant to college...then in front of all people the commander ask she go forward and ask her some thing ..: Do u c that tree? he pointed to a tree.... the girl dint respond...then the cmd said loud and clear that to the tree n said 10 times "sorry , i forgoten to wear long pant"...the girl cryed....that time i starting to realize that this camp aren't play play.....It is a discipline camp....  to be continue................... September 29 i suddenly....just now late night....1am something.....i still hanging out with my frens... then we was playing card games...a sing tiao... then i suddenly feel very funny...n i laughed.... in the middle off the laughing....i also feel very sad ....n i cry..... i feel my whole body lost control.....my eyes laughing,but my mouth crying.... this is real....i never try this b4.... i not just done that action once....but twice.... the first time .....i try to control it.....coz i find it was a scary action/emotion....but the second time came...i still fail to control..... in the view from psychology.....this is bipolar disorder.....one of the mood disorder..... i real hope i just only tired that time......not having the disorder.... coz this disorder is very hard to cure...can be said no method can 100% cure it effectively.... September 25 my friend.....I was shocked when I heard Ah wong(Wong Wai Kun) had pass away at Monday....24 sept.... He was my school mate when primary and secondary school.... I still remember when at sjk(c) kepong 1 , I was his ketua kumpulan for a sains experiment. That day he forgotten to bring a experiment tool. Then I company him to his home(near metro prima now) and take up that tool.... That time he is a nice ,strong, sweet, (out hard inner soft) person. After when he join a group at secondary school, he become a bit "kasar" but when he talk to me ..........still remain soft, nice person........ He join a tarian singa as a part time job. His home economy was not so good as my....but he try his best to do what ever he can for friends....he is a nice and understandable friend for me.... But because a car accident take his life.......... friend.....I will always remember u...... September 19 During and affter the exam sememter 1when i stared my exam period ,my ah yee, and my cousin come back from England ...hahaha!!! They a lot off presents to us! V al very love them!!!  hehe!! but I think they come with the wrong time....that time I was in exam.....haiz....cant go play with my cousin that long time didn't see....erm if I nit misremember I saw him was i was 6 years old...hahaha....i still remember that time he wear short paints ,yellow t-shirt, and playing chess with my brother....hahaha...i still remember his unique smell...We call it the *England smell* hehe...Even every single item that they bring to us got that smell...kakaka. This time they back for 2 weeks.at the last three days I finish my last exam (counselling) then that night We go to cyber cafe to play some games. hehe ...that day we play almost 4 hours of games , and in the middle of the game he buy a bottle of mineral water to reflash us then I saw his eyes turned into red and my brother stared to headache already...hahaha...but for me ...I used to it...so it is ok for me.kakaka....they weak only...Then when I want to pay the bill , it stared to scare me coz it is Rm2.5 per hour then i only got Rm30 in hand....  that moment i feel shame but only paid by my cousin Leon....hahaha..(a free game for me ,I so happy)the last night they come to my home and having some chit-chat. Before that i purposely go out to buy some tong shui to serve them....I love tong shui but i dont know they not so love tong shui de....  ...tong shui this thing is not loved by every one....it is ok that they dont like ting shui. But if they dont like it but they lie to me.....i will be very sad...and a bit angry... I not too like those who lie to me....If they lie I know de erm...maybe because I do research about it( human thinking)a loong time liao....but some time is not accurate la but almost 70% will accurate ....but some time when I find out....I choose to be silent and pretend don't know it....coz it will make me more happy...even some time I will avoid to know the truth....coz it is not fun when know all the truth..but sad..September 02 long time dint blog...now , I sick liao :( and I also weak in mental... Some times i felt very lonely..... don't have any one to talk... i had some one to talk to. But now i dont. It was very hard to find a real listener..... A listener that only listen to me when i need..... I wasn't want to have a gf...or what... but just a friend...... now days i got many disorders.... bipolar disorder, burn out....sleep disorder...many.... I try to cure myself...but ...it is need some time....i think.... not every one can able let me feel conferable when i talk to..... but I still trying to find a real listener.... hope it will be fast....because I not sure how long i can take.... July 30 My birthday leh!!!! 2007Today 30 /7 is my birthday....^-^...
I spent most of my time at the college....:)
my class started at 8am...so I must tumpang my brother gf car to college...7am...
 so sian....then our class scolded by our Hubungan Etnik lectuarer ...Cik Mahwaddah....
then when we having our IT class my class mate sang a birthday song to...hehehe
it make me feel very shane...kakaka....
then unbeliefable my class mate agian they planning to buy a kek to celebrate with me....
****i curi curi tell u all here that Before they do it ...i spot it....they non velerbe (body langue)
let me know they planning some thing behind me...hahaha...****
Dont know this kind of thing is good or bad ....haiz....no susprise at all.....haha...
I know this kind of basic defence when i was in form 3....haha.... This kind of thing make my world always predicable...
no more susprise....haiz.... But what can i do....i just cant undo learning..... the thing i can do is some time
try to not use that skill(power) for some event....then only i got chance to refeel susprise agian....cham....
But it is good to train the junior....hahaha...i rmb when i was in my ajk time(scout)i spot "some one..V.." doing some thing fake to me
then i dint bocoh her even a teacher spoted ....Then i slowly nam si she that what she do is not a mature action....hahaha..
That time she brought a handphone....and she pretent she sick...hahaha...and go to first aid room...but unluckily she met me...kakaka
the guru discipline try to find the hand phone out... But at the end i help she to keep the secret ...
Then she go home with the handphone at the end.But the process dint end there....***
....hahaha!!! i ran off the track agian...erm...after i end all my class today.... i and my class mate went to Jusco...Wangsa maju one..
then we eat mc.d ...AA... then at the end....they before they go...their body langue tell me that "some thing will happen"
then they brounght a kopi kek.....hahaha... actualy i dont like kopi or capocino... i prefer cocholete then capocino...hehehe...then i heard
some about zhe hong from my class mate...hahaha...i dont know zho hong are so "popular"... hahahaha... July 21 The sound from my heart...In this days I feel very tired....Dont know why .....
tre my best to be a person that always happy,n active.....good But I failed....maybe some time You see me smiling,happy, but actualy in this days i very suffer from stress that come from college work(i mean result) my result not so good. i dont want be the next ab wen jueen ...repeat 1 more year....i cant affort it... He real very kroban and care for scout.. He use most of the time to manage scout things. Do scout give us eat? Do scout give us patrol? Do they give us salary?
The answer is NO....But why we still join and help scout? ...... how other people answer i not sure... but my reason is I LOVE SCOUT....
I try to guide and teach those young boys and girls be indepandent.
I myself teached by my senior about that.
But those senoir are no longer avarible to scouting any more. So that is our time to help our young one.
Many people ask why join scout? why we still need to need to come back to scout ? why the pengasas want to create scout?...
But as I know ...when Lord Baden Powell during middle age he was a tentera....
When he duty at Akfika there, he meet a situation that his troop and his city was serounded by enermys which that amout is much more then his troop. But the order from his supuerior is to protect the city.... He as the head for his army troop ,he use those boys in the city to SCOUT enermy movement. So every time those enermy attack the city is a fail mission. Then because the Victory from BP ,it make his enermy scare him. He sussuceful protect the city long time.
That time he feel kids or children are very clever and useful if be thought properly. Then with his victory he go back to his home town.
Then when he arrived home town, he realise that the most children that live in peaceful place are not use their time properly.
And dont know any knowledge about the life... Some because too free, they do some stupid thing,like lepak,crime,and so on. Even including his family... In his mind, why like that? They cant use time properly? Are they stupid then Akfika children? Do England have any one
that teach thier children about life knowledge? First , England children is not stupid then Akfika children. Second , every children is just like a pis of white paper. But, England Children most of thier time beside school is a free time. it dontn't mean our resting time when we have free time. But real very free. So suddenly some thing come to BP mind..... Make a socialty to fulfil their time with useful activiti.
Avoid them use the time in wrong way. Then the name of the socialty is BOYS SCOUT. But in Malaysia we adult dint name BOYS SCOUT...but PENGAKAP KELANA (ROVER scout) So I hope I also can do the same thing to my young juniors. July 08 the second blog after i start college lifeBcoz of the Daerah camp....i miss the chance to apply ptptn loan... cham.....for the daerah camp Zhe hong has help me alot too!!!! thanks!!!
then come the module A dan B at Sarbak Bernam ....agian...
Chong said those who have go there last time must go there agian........
then i go lo.....oso got Khai Leng n Lu ying go ma......ok lo...
then ......The activitis are same like the previuos one!!!!! same place, same activiti,same group of ppl lecturing, even same joke!!!!!! -_-lllll
cham!!!! that 3 days just like tortuoring.....
I think the previous one is more better..... coz got sembileh ayam...got lock up, ....got tranfer ikan with mouth...now all cant do.....haiz....
But got my frens to avoid thinking about escape from the camp...kakaka!!!!!
Right after the manikayu camp.....i start busy with my assignment..Hubungan ernik.....What a group....i seach , do , print ,n biting.......my frens got do la....but ...haiz..nvm la!!!! sap sap water ba le....:)
THE ST>JOHN Campfire!!!!!
-the campfire got climb building walls action.....like vitoria de...but they fail to climb well....n fall down from 1st floor...3 action fail.... i saw a leg is not good..... another one is hands..... i saw Pn.Geledin eyes so big when seeing this all.....i think Daerah Kepong want to do building climbing is not a supported activiti liao...hahaha!!! the first blog after my college life....Long time dint update my space...hehe:P
i have done many things in this few weeks.....
A big "headache" >>>> Daerah Camp at TTDI..
b4 the camp i felt very lonely.....coz i felt i the only one who do the camp....
very cham de...almost every day need to meet JEEVA...ADC kepong.....
Car patrol very mk me feel a big burden 4 me....i stop work liao.so thats mean i dont have any income....
but need to give my car to "eat"....cham...same like my hand phone....haiz....
that time i have try to ask other scout to help me....but all of them give the answer like: "c whereter i got time anot la" , "I let u Know later" , "I a bit busy....i try la" , "so early! still got 3 weeks......"
so when i stressed by assignment from tarc ,i got once send a sms to chong n Jeeva to cancel the camp.... i badly DANG by chong.....that time is when ab wen jueen birthday....i drank alcohol like red wine, bir......but those is not doing well on me...no effect on me...haiz....
BUT , after that Khai leng try to help me....That time I soooooo in-touch........Thank you Khai Leng!!!!
ab Wen jueen also slowly help me. Slowly form a group......THEN ...OMG too much ppl liao... -_-lll hahaha!!! Cham...that time dont know how to tell them no nid to come....haiz.....kakaka...but at the end all nam nam ho lo....:)
1 day b4 the camp....a few ppl go there to set up.....bao ,wen bing ,chee cherng ,zhe hong, lai kuan, xiao rui ,ab wen jueen,me dint sleep just for set up..... they r very got scouting spirit...hehe!!!
IN the camp a lot of helper come....suddenly SC want to come......haiz.....need to buy some thing for him to drink....waste money...haha!!!!!!
Tat time... i dint eat much drink much....restless....like iron man......kakaka!!! But after the campfire , i only have the oppercunity to sit down find some thing form my beg.....in the position of sit ....i suddenly felt "i rest a while first" then i just like pengsan cant get up to do the ring bomba.....but Lu Ying , Khai Leng , Wen fui run it as planed .... So the activiti dint loss....kakaka!!!!
then the next morning I got up to run the istiadat....every thing is under control :)
Wat a Tiring camp.......haha!!!! but the camp is a begining for KEpong Scout....to reach higher stage... May 04 zhi yuen dancethis is my second time dance prefomes ....for zhi yuen ....my first is three years ago.....:p
14/4/2007 after the mesyarat agong of 20th kepong scout....i went to chong wah school to dance.....
those shirt very tide
 it make me very not comfedeble.... n we must make up ....lip stik....and be come so white..
 those shirt is girl dress...but our teacher(trainer) want us to wear it coz want to save cost....
 but any way it was a very unforgetalbe memorist...wahahaha  May 02 Kuala Lumpur manikayu course module Bthis is the most easy course for me.......wahahaha.....
at the first i been told that this course will on at K.L but just a day b4 go (12am at "go lo" mamak) i been info that this course will led at Rumah rehat Sabak Bernam..... teluk indah....near p.pangkok ..29 april~1 mei 2007
i had try hard to invited lu ying, khai leng , n all my patners go this "camp" but they cant go.....haiz.....only RM30 for three days hotel eat buffer,got air cond, heater, room servis,a "BIG TV" .......many many things....just like a holiday......hehe!!!
 this camp is anjur by Dewan bandaraya K.L so we no need pay much fees.... n this is where got many teachers attent this course... so it must be a bit shuang la!!!!!
i ,wan hoe, wen fui, chee herng,sir chong ,ab chee weng go this camp....we can onlt said this is a kursus cant said camp la....
those jurulatih want us have the manikayu fast.... they said 1 year will be enough..... there dont have any leng lui....nut got many "wan ton" or those who can be my mother.....
this cam got many activiti...like we been "lock up" at the balai polis.....at balai bomba use mouth to chaught fist,we go to hospital to c mayat,we carry a life chieken to any where we go...but at the end we sembelir it.....n we eat the meat....
i cant eat too many curry or chili...but at the camp almost all food were malay style....
 T.Tit make i almost after every meal i got to do BIG BUSSINES....T.T April 12 Penang manikayu courseb4 this course oh....i have use around RM20 to contact all ppl......so expensive...  exspecialy call to penang....haha....but all had been done good. at first moment, penang give us 3 slot for the course...then i heard khai leng said yip weng ask many time for the course n intersted about it.so i ask wen fui to ask werther can 4ppl go anot....but he said those penang scout are very serious for everything so finaly he manage to get 4 slot for us....but at the last moment yip weng said he cant go coz cant have a holiday at that day......
so i call wei peng to replace yip weng slot lo...we fall to sleep in the bus after a few hours.....whe we wake up we on a brige....they siad we had go to penang and back to butter worst liao....but i disargee...3 us 1 i cant say any thing liao le.....when we reach the bus station.....we go to a "24hours"mamak.....many food also dint have....like nasi....mi goreng.....
then we fecth by a scout bro using a kancil...we 4 stuck in the kancil...u know la...we all so big the kancil is just for 2 at the back.....wei peng sat my leg...make me feel ma pi at the leg..the circiration of my leg dint go well...
at the course.....wei peng dint bring forest cap!!!!
 as a scouter .......haiz....and name tap too...luckily we are from K.L ...if not wei peng had sent to home liao......at the course got a ADC BT Matajam also join this course.....his name....ong lai....his very activ in scout...n same age as me.....1988...
the person that i contacted ,the face just like Ja Li, n sound like sin yong...
all ppl is very kind......bcoz of that i feel K.L ppl is very rule and lembep,3 minits heat,n childess......
haha even i also one of the K.L ppl.....
the course full with teori....just a bit pratikel....like maching,tongkat,undang-undang, n lagu negeri.
we wilayah persekutuan dint have lagu negeri.....so we must learn lagu penang....hehe.....we just use 15 minit to learn it...
i have ask many quetion about ujian Muda....king scout....actualy all this are very easy.....but is just our 20th Kepong make the standend to high .....our keahlian exam like their a part of king scout...so....that one of the reason that ahli feel usaha very hard for them....
now v have chance....to change it....if not....it will be tooo hard to make king scout for our school.
when we go back to K.L ...a sir (chan) fecth us to Bus station....and i ask some quetion n advice to make a exam camp....
at last...we have brought a tiket to puduraya....actualy we buy JLN DUTA 6PM....the tiket seller cheat us.... at the pudu there we take a taxi RM30 to back to Kepong....Khai Leng house. then i drive car to fecth wei peng go home.....we dint eat supper...coz khai leng dont want to folow and want to save money..hehe...n that use more than Rm200 liao le...... |
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